I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Semen is not good for contacts.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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