Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
