this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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