Just mADE A PArabola og urine
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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