I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
