you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
