I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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