I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
