the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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