i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
