Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
