yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
