the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
