you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
