I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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