He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Randomize
