i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
