Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
