Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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