Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
