I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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