I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
