there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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