I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
