You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
