Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
