I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
