I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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