Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My breasts were aching with rage.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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