hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
