this beer tastes like vomit already
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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