What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
