"it" just moved
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
