I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
