Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
