The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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