On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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