Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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