So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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