Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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