Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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