He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
