the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
