Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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