Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
