No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
