Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
