This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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