I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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