oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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