I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
