In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you win again, gameday.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Found your dick twin last night
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
