I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
