I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
