I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
